Chapter Four: The Ghost
As soon as I got inside the cabin I went up to my room. I knew I would be taking a risk, but i decided to use my key and open the locket. As soon as I turned the tiny key in the little lock the locket sprang open. Side note here, I know I am bitter as hell but even I had to admit tiny keys and locks are pretty damn cute. Anyway, as soon as the damn thing sprang open a creepy ghost fog spilled out of it and then gathered on my bedroom floor. It keep coming out until it looked like my entire floor was covered in a misty cloud. The temperature in the room dropped to about 30 degrees. It was so fucking cold that I could see my breath. I sat on my bed and curled up in an old quilt. I sat and waited for whatever it was to come and get me. Out of nowhere, a cold wind blew on the back of my neck and made my hairs stand on end. A chill ran down my spine and my whole body shivered. I looked behind me and nothing was there. I knew the second I turned back around the motherfucking ghost would be staring me in the face, so I waited where I was for a while. I felt more cold wind on the side of my neck, but I didn’t budge. The cold wind grew stronger and I could hear the sound of heavy breathing but I still didn’t turn. “WOOOO!” said the ghost in a high and airy voice. I figured I messed around with it enough and finally turned to see it’s ugly face right next to mine. “Yuck,” I said, and slapped it’s face away.
“Yuck!? said the ghost, “not even a little scream? I mean look at me I’ve got pale skin, half my face is gone, you can see right through me and all you can say is yuck! Wooooooo.”
“Look ghost, you don’t know me, so don’t expect everyone to react the same way that's just ignorant. The world doesn’t always conform to your way of thinking. There are different people with different sensibilities.”
“Kids these days, wooo,” said the ghost with a roll of her eye. The ghost was dressed in an old fashioned white dress, and it looked like half her head had been shot off with a shotgun. She was probably pretty good looking before she got shot and I guessed she was the spirit who had been possessing Maggie earlier. I looked at the two pictures in the locket. The pictures were pretty old and soaked with water, so it was hard to make out faces. I had to think quickly to find out if she would be like a Patrick Swayze ghost or Shining ghost, neither of which were appealing to me at the moment.
“Do you know how to make pottery?” I asked.
“I AM GOING TO RIP OUT YOUR HEART AND FEAST ON YOUR SOUL WOOOO!” screamed the ghost and chomped at me with her half mouth.
“It’s a simple question, do you or don’t you know how to make clay pots!”
“YES, alright yes, I can do pottery! There, are you happy now?! You are powerful annoying, wooo.”
“I’m annoying?! Which one of us gets in people’s faces and ends every sentence with a motherfucking woo?”
“I don’t end every sentence with wooo, and you sure do have a sailor’s mouth… woo,”
“Seriously though, is it because you’re ghost now, or did you always end your sentences like that?”
“It’s because I’m a ghost obviously... but then again I don’t really remember how I talked before I was murdered, wooo. I WAS MURDERED I HAVE TO KILL EVERYONE!! I NEED MY REVENGE!! WOOOO!!”
With that the ghost started flying around the room like a balloon emptying itself from air. She knocked over my night stand and broke my lamp. She slammed into the walls and knocked off all the pictures and they crashed to the ground. There were pieces of glass all over the place and I was about to lose my shit.
“Look what you did you son of a bitch ghost! Who’s gonna clean up this mess? I don’t want to step on glass in the middle of the night! Do you want me to cut my foot and bleed to death?!”
The ghost stopped rampaging and looked at me with shame in her eye.
“Oh, no I’m dreadful sorry,” she said, “I don’t think of that. Woo.”
“No, apparently you can go on a rampage and a killing spree and not think about how it will affect me! Did you realize that if you killed all the people I’m with I would have to drive home all by my self?! I don’t have any money for gas! I was basically kidnapped in the first place, but you didn’t think of any of that did you?!”
“No, woo. I didn’t.”
“Well start! And go and get a damn broom!”
The ghost left, and quickly came back with the broom and cleaned up the mess she made. After she was finished I heard the idiots walk through the door. I took the locket and the key and went down to meet them. Maggie was still a bit woozy from being possessed but all in all she was fine. The others looked a little sunburned and tired but they were in good spirits. Chad saw me and motioned for me to come over. Zeke, Ashley and Jenn went into the kitchen to get dinner started, and Maggie laid down on the couch to recover.
“So, What’s up with the necklace?” said Chad.
“It’s got a fucking ghost in it, Chad.”
“I know that retard! I’m asking what’s the deal with it.”
“Come out ghost,” I ordered, and held up the locket. The ghost peeked her grotesque half head out of the necklace. Chad screamed loudly and fell over. The ghost and I laughed.
“Owe, Chadette, you were swoo scawed did the baby pee his wittle diaper?” I mocked.
“Now that’s what I’m talking about! WOOO!” said the ghost.
“Fuck you, it’s not funny! I almost died!” said Chad.
“Boo whoo woo, you almost died. Well, I did die! My lover shot me IN THE FACE!! WOOO!!” screamed the ghost.
“Not this again,” I said, “Your boyfriend was an asshole we know.”
“HEY, WHAT’S GOING ON IN THERE?!” asked a voice from the kitchen.
“NOTHING!” the three of us said together.
“Anyway,” said Chad, “What are we going to do with, um.. What’s your name?”
“I don’t remember,” said the ghost.
“What would you like us to call you?” asked Chad.
“Well I’ve always liked the name Dollie,” said the ghost.
“I like ghost better,” I said.
“Joe you have to be the least creative person on the planet! We’re calling you Dollie,” said Chad.
“Dinner’s like totally ready!” called Ashley from the dining room. Chad and I woke up Maggie and took our seats at the table. The place settings were marked with our names and not surprisingly, I was sandwiched in between Ashley and Jenn. They had made some typical camping food, sloppy Joes and potato chips. I passed on eating it obviously. To me sloppy Joes look like dog shit and I don’t like the idea of my name being used in food titles. Seriously, you all don’t realize how fucking insane it can be to eat a food that shares your name. Also it doesn’t end there all night long its “Do you like your sloppy Joe?”, “Pass me another sloppy Joe,” and the worst of them all “you got sloppy Joe all over your face and hands.” I was however looking forward to eating the ricecrispy squares they had made for dessert. They were huge and covered in sprinkles. My mouth watered at the sight of them. I reached my hand out to grab one, but Jenn took them out of my reach.
“Tisk, tisk not before you’ve eaten some real food,” she said in a very nurturing tone.
She then sloped a Joe onto my plate, and Ashley shoved some potato chips and apple slices on my plate. I reluctantly chewed on the apples and tried to think of a way to make that sloppy Joe disappear. Then I thought of the ghost!
“Ghost,” I whispered to the locket.
“It’s Dollie,” said Dollie.
“Whatever, eat that sloppy Joe for me.”
“I’m not your dog to throw scraps to under the table!”
“That’s a good idea, ghost you can just take this food and throw it outside so the animals can eat it.”
“I don’t feel like going outside. I want to stay here and listen to the conversations. It’s actually a really interesting group dynamic here. Ashley and Jenn are obviously sweet on you, and have been trying to get your attention all night. Zeke is sweet on Ashley, or Maggie I don’t think he’s decided yet. Chad is in LOVE with Jenn, and I think Maggie is sweet on Chad. The only one I haven’t figured out it you, handsome.”
The ghost winked at me with her one eye, or did she just blink, it was hard to tell.
“Fuck that,I care about is getting rid of this fucking thing. Why don’t you go and put this on Chad’s lap, he looks like the type to eat dog shit.”
I smiled evilly and looked right at Chad as I passed the ghost my plate under the table. Chad locks eyes with me and we stare at each other intensely, both wanting what the other had. A minute later Chad looks down, then screams at the top of his lungs. He gets up from the table and falls backwards over his chair. The sloppy Joe that the ghost delivered to him flew up into the air and landed on his face. “Yo, Chad wastin’ sloppy Joes like that is straight up wack,” said Zeke and he smiled at Ashley. Ashley Blushed a little. Chad wiped the sloppy part of the Joe off his face. “Yeah Chad, straight up wack,” I laughed and highfived the ghost under the table. Maggie helped Chad clean the food off his face, goddamn lucky bastard!
With my plate of food gone, I finally got to eat those delicious rice crispy treats. They were gooey, crunchy and marshmallowy delicious. Every bite was better than the last, and covered in star shaped sprinkles. I fucking love dessert and sprinkles, maybe a little too much. I shoved another square into my mouth right away. “You sure love your sweets, Joe,” said Jenn and took a bite of one of the treats, “You know I can be very sweet as well.” She ripped off a piece of her Rice Crispy square and fed it to me. “I can be very, very sweet,” she said and licked the sticky marshmallow off her finger. “Like I’m sweet too,” said Ashley and shoved a whole square in my mouth. I looked over at Maggie and she was talking to Zeke. She wasn’t even paying attention to how desirable I was, but you know who was watching, fucking Chad. He looked fucking miserable, like John Cusack in the goddam rain miserable. I almost felt sorry for him until I realized that he fucking kidnapped me goddamit, Chad!
After dinner Chad suggested that we go to the living room to hang. I ignored his suggestion, took another rice crispy square, and headed for the stairs. Before I could disappear into my room, Jenn stopped me. “You can’t go upstairs yet,” she said, “We still have to do the dares.” She led me back to sit next to her on the couch. Chad also sat on the couch next to Jenn, like a sad puppy. Ashley and Maggie took the love seat and Zeke sat in the massage chair. I couldn’t believe Chad’s family had a goddamn massage chair and not a t.v.! What kind of assholes lived in this house. I bet they spend all their time reading books and stories like some sort of a nerdy loser. I looked around the room and sure enough the bookshelves were filled will dusty old books, board games and other useless shit. “Alright here are the rules,” said Maggie, “we roll a dice to see who goes first. The person with the biggest number does the first dare and then we will go clockwise from there.” “Here take this,” said Zeke, “I found them in one of those old board games.” The dice was really old looking and seed like it was made out of bone or something.
“Uh oh, wo,” whispered the locket ghost.
“What?” I whispered.
“Those dice are from a cursed game of backgammon.”
“What the hell! Is everything cursed in this house?,”
“Yeah, just about.”
“Fuck! What kind of curse, a good one or a bad one?”
“Are there any good curses?”
“Just tell me what the curse is!”
“Anyone who rolls the dice will get trapped in another dimension and forced to play a life or death game of backgammon with a demon.”
“That’s not so bad of a curse.”
“Are you kidding me woo? It’s a horrible curse, and the backgammon demon is a right deadbeat.”
“You know him?”
“Yeah he comes out and eat all the vittles from the people who stop here, you know, before they all kick the bucket, woo. He always leaves the kitchen a horrible mess and guess who would always clean up after him, woo? I always had to do it woo. That is until I got tossed in the lake.”
“You mean the person you were possessing at the time got tossed into the lake.”
“Hey, are you talking to yourself over there?” asked Jenn.
“Um… no. Don’t roll the dice yet, Chad can I talk to you for a minute?” I said and pulled Chad into the kitchen. “Let me go dickweed,” complained Chad and pulled his arm away from me.
“Chad, this whole fucking house is filled to the motherfucking brim with fucking cursed objects,” I said, “Just ask the ghost.”
“You mean Dollie?” asked Chad.
“Yeah the only fucking ghost we know!” I exclaimed.
“I find it hard to believe that we are in any real danger here. I mean come on, we are just six high schoolers in my uncle’s cabin in the middle of the woods. OH MY GOD!! We’re all gonna DIE!” screamed Chad.
“We won’t die, we have the ghost to tell us when we are about to…”
“We’re starting without you!” yelled Maggie from the living room. Chad and I ran into the room just in time to see Zeke toss the dice.
“NNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!” yelled Chad at the top of his lungs as a swirling vortex appeared right below Zeke’s massage chair. The girls screamed at the top of their lungs as the vortex knocked over furneratue and broke the windows. Shards of glass flew perilously through the air “This is wack yo,” said Zeke as he fell into the vortex, chair and all. “Quick,” said the ghost, “follow him into the vortex!” Chad and I jumped in and soon found ourselves in another fucking dimension where the whole sky is black and the only light we had was that of a street lamp that shone on a table, two chairs. On the table there was a backgammon board. Soon Maggie and the other girls materialized out of thin air next to us.
“Do you see what I mean?” asked Dollie from inside the locket.
“No, what?” I said in a dry tone.
“The whole living room’s a powerful mess now and who do you think is going to clean it up?”
“Is your locket like talking to you?” asked Ashley.
“No idiot, lockets can’t talk, I am talking to the ghost inside the locket,” I said.
“No way, you actually found the locket!” exclaimed Maggie, “ Now that I think about it I think I knew we found it the whole time, only my memory gets a little foggy when I think what happened.”
“Anyway now you know I have the locket so you all have to do what I ask,” I said, “and I want you to fucking stay alive!”
Clap. Clap. Clap. Came from the shadows as an ugly red demon in a suit stepped out into the light. “Very nice speech,” he said sarcastically, “spoken like a true hero.”
“A hero? Do you even know him?” asked Chad.
“Shut the fuck up Chad, I can fucking be the goddamn hero if I want to be!” I said.
“Please, there is nothing heroic or good about you, I bet this demon is a nicer guy than you are,” said Chad.
“Hey, I’m an evil demon. I kill people and send them to hell, there is no way this kid is meaner than I am,” said the demon, “by the way, why are you not cowering in fear like these other fools?”
Ashley, Jenn, Maggie, and Zeke were crying and holding eachother. The very sight of the demon sent them into hysterics. Looking back on it the demon was pretty scary looking. He had blood red skin, Two giant horns coming out of his fore head, pointy white teeth, and huge black eyes. Despite him being ugly as sin his suit was very nice. It looked like it might have been an Armani.
“Fuck you! Who said we had to be afraid of you?” I said.
“Because I can do this!” he said and created a fireball in his hand. The sight of it set the girls off screaming, and let’s just say Zeke definitely needed new pants. Even Chad backed away. “This is what I use to kill the people who lose to me at backgammon. Now which one of you rolled the cursed dice?”
“I, I am, yo,” said Zeke quietly.
“What did you say?” asked the demon.
“He’s the fucking dumbass who rolled the dice you dipshit,” I said.
“You are trying my last nerve boy. I should just kill all of you now!” said the demon.
“Go ahead and try it,” I said.
The demon made the fireball in his hand grow to the size of a beach ball, and was about to throw it at me when the ghost came out of the locket.
“WAIT,” she said, “You can’t beef anyone until they lose to you at backgammon, Cornelius. Those are the terms of your curse.”
“T-Terms of the c-curse? What does that mean D-Dollie?” asked Chad.
“Well,” said the ghost, “you know how I couldn’t possess anyone unless they wore the locket, well those were my terms. Cornelius’ terms are that he cannot kill anyone unless he beats them at backgammon first, so if he wants to kill Joe he has to roll the dice and beat him at backgammon first, woooo.”
“Hum, Dollie, is that what they’re calling you now? You know I remember him calling you something different right before he shot your face off and spit on your cold, dead body,” said Cornelius.
“UUURRRGGG! I WAS MURDERED!!!!!! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH I’M GOING TO KILL! KILL! KILL!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!” shouted the ghost. She flew around very fast and screamed like a mad woman. That stupid demon ruined all of my conditioning with a few words! He looked right in my face and laughed as if he knew how pissed off I was.
“Calm down Dollie,” said Chad, “You don’t want to hurt anyone!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH WWWWWOOOOOOOO!” screamed the ghost.
“Now you did it you creep!,” I shouted at Cornelious, “It took me forever to get her to calm down and now she’s flying around like a fucking banshee! It’s goddamn annoying that’s what it is!”
“I can’t wait to cook you alive and feast on your insides you good for nothing punk,” said Cornelius.
“Fuck that, I’m the one that’s gonna be eating your red ass!”
“I’ve never hated a person so much before in my whole life! I may not be able to kill you yet but I can burn that pretty face of yours off.”
“Fucking do it then!”
“NNNOOOOOOOO!” screamed Jenn, and bravely ran between Cornelius and me. She threw her arms around my neck, and started to sob uncontrollably. “Wow,” I thought, “she REALLY likes me.” I could not say I’d do the same thing for her but it sort of flattering none the less. The real prize, however was when I looked over and saw Chad’s face of pure jealousy. It was priceless. I put my arm around Jenn’s waist just to rub it in. Cornelius threw his fireball right at my head despite Jenn’s effort to dissuade him. Lucky for the both of us the ghost was rampaging and she moved right into the path of the fireball. Needless to say, all the cold as hell ghost stuff mixed with the hot fire stuff and it all exploded. BOOM! Bits of fire and Ghost everywhere. “You killed Dollie, you bastard!” shouted Chad. “Good she won’t get in my way this time,” said Cornelius and readied another fireball. The bits of ghost started moving and clumping together very quickly. It was so fucking disgusting, it looked like a giant floating blob of snot. “How dare you try and whooooop me with a fireball Cornelius!” shouted the Dollie blob. She blew a cold wind toward Cornelius and blew out his fireball. “Alright Dollie, you win this time,” he said, “but you can’t keep me from killing them after I win at backgammon. Terms of the curse and all.” Dollie returned to the locket like a genie returning to a lamp.
“Now Zeke,” said Cornelius, “it’s time to play a game of backgammon, to the death! Ha ha ha.”
No comments:
Post a Comment