Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Crows of Kyoto: Part 2




CAW! CAW! CAW!

The next morning Makoto woke up to the cawing of crows outside her window.  She threw a pillow at Misha to wake him up.  He sprung to attention, then realized what happened.

“What was that for?” he asked.

“You never told me you could speak Japanese!” demanded Makoto.

“You never asked.  You just assumed that I couldn’t and that you could say whatever you want about me behind my back!”

Makoto felt embarrassed she didn’t mean for Misha to hear what she said last night.  Thinking about it now she realized it must be hard for him to come to a foreign country and the only person close to his own age said she hated him.

“I’m sorry Misha,” she said, “I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Don’t worry about it.  Can I ask you something strange?  Did you hear anything last night like something outsid…”

“Kids! It’s time to get up! Hurry we want to leave as soon as we can!” yelled Momo.

The children raced downstairs.  There was already breakfast waiting for them.  Dominique was sipping on some coffee while Momo brought out the last of the food.  There was a giant spread of food on the table, orange slices, hot rice, fish, toast, and other delicious foods.

“Wow,” said Misha, “There’s a lot of food here!  I’m just used to eating cold cereal and milk.  Mom how come you don’t make this for me every morning?”

“Why don’t you make it for me?” asked Dominique in a dry tone, “I’m the one that pays for everything.”

Makoto giggled.  They all sat down and enjoyed breakfast together.

Ding Dong!

Some one at the gate had rung the doorbell.

“I wonder who it could be?” said Momo, “Makoto, go and check please.”

Makoto ran over to the intercom to see the the video feed of who was at the front gate.  Makoto saw two long drapes of hair attached to a slender body.  It was her English tutor.  Makoto was startled to see her so early in the morning.  She held down the talk button.

“Hello, Yamada Sensei” She said

“Hello, Makoto.  Is your Mother home?  I wanted to offer my condolences.” said Yamada she turned her head and smiled into the camera.  It was a forced smile and it sent a shiver down Makoto’s spine.

“Yes, um, one moment please.”

Makoto ran over to her mother and said, “It’s Yamada Sensei.  She came to offer condolences.”

“That’s strange, I didn’t tell her Grandfather was sick,” said Momo.

“Mr. Sato must have said something,” said Dominique casually.

“Of course, you’re right,” said Momo as she left to answer the door.  She put her shoes on and slid opened the front door.  The sky was grey with clouds threatening to burst at any moment.  She shrugged off an eerie feeling in her gut as she crossed the front yard to open the gate.  Momo pulled open the gate door and Yamada was no where to be seen.  Momo called out to her, but she didn’t answer.  She stepped out into the street and looked around, but the street was empty.  Suddenly Momo noticed she was stepping on something.  It was an envelope with “to the Sato and Hayashi Families” written on it.  Momo assumed it was a card or something of the like.  She had wished that Yamada had given it to her in person, but she was still grateful for the thought.  Momo took the card into the house and decided to open it at Grandfather’s house along with all the other gifts and cards they would get from friends and family members.

The car ride to their grandparent’s house was about an hour’s drive up the mountain but it didn’t seem that long to Misha and Makoto who spent the entire time talking and playing with each other.  Their mothers were also getting along.  They reminisced about their college days and talked about current events in a way only old friends can.  They would also carefully tip toe around the subject of Misha’s father.  For them the loss was still fresh.  Misha on the other hand could hardly remember his father at all.  The only things he knew about him were the stories his mother would tell, and the few memories he had of his father doing dishes, playing in a sandbox with him, and lying in a hospital bed.  Misha remembered more about the funeral than he did the man.

Someone from the main house meet them at the gate and told them to park their car in front.  They did as instructed and a servant took their luggage to their rooms as they went to visit Grandfather.  Makoto and Misha were silent as they were lead down the hall to where their dying grandfather was kept.  The hall was dark and narrow and lined with sliding paper doors.  Rooms that most likely had not been lived in for years.  At the end of the hall was a bright light.  Makoto could hear the beeping of machines and as they got closer the smell of hospital wafted into the hall.   It was the distinct combination of death and disinfectant intermixed.  Grandmother was already in the room waiting for them when they arrived.  They knew other relatives would be arriving shortly and they would have to attend to the matters of the funeral, but for now they came and sat quietly next to Grandmother.

“He is asleep now but he may wake up soon,” said Grandmother, “hopefully you will be able to say your goodbyes then, but he gets weaker by the hour.”

The family stayed in the room watching and waiting.  Occasionally some more relatives would arrived and quietly wait as well.  After a while children began to get restless.  The parents all agreed that they should be taken out to the garden to play until Grandfather awoke.  A servant led Makoto, Misha, and their second cousins Yuuki and Nana out into the garden.  Makoto was glad to be outside away from that horribly quiet room, but she could still feel an aura of death surrounding her.  The servant gave them each a stick of dango and told them she would be back if there were any developments.  Makoto, Misha, and Yuuki ate their snack right away.  The chiefs at the main house were some of the best in Japan, and the dango was made to  sweet perfection.  Nana watched as the other children ate their treats with a knowing smile.  When the other children finished they looked around for more, but there was none to be found, except in Nana’s hand.  All three of them looked at her.  This is what she had been waiting for.  She planned to eat hers slowly in front of the others while they begged her for another taste.

“It isn't fair Nana has more!” complained Yuuki.

“It’s perfectly fair,” she explained, “we all got the same amount, except I didn’t eat mine all at once like an animal.”

Makoto got very angry, she knew that Nana had just saved her dango so she could make the others suffer.  She wasn’t going to give Nana the satisfaction of knowing that she also wanted them, so she pretended to ignore her.  Yuuki on the other hand proceeded to beg her for some.  Nana dangled the treat over her little brother’s head and pretended like she would give him a bite, but then ate it herself.  Makoto could barely hold back her anger.  Nana always loved to play these sort of tricks on them, and Makoto didn’t appreciate it.  It would have been one thing if she was just a slow eater but that wasn’t the case.  Nana had a mean streak in her that it seemed no one could see except for her.  Then she thought that maybe Misha could see it too.  This was the first time they had ever met and he must have seen what she did to her little brother.  Perhaps in Misha she would find a fellow commiserator.  Makoto looked over and saw that Misha wasn’t even paying attention to the whole scene, instead he was staring off into space.

“Misha,” whispered Makoto.

Misha startled and answered, “what?”

“Shhhh! Did you see what just happened? Did you see what Nana did?  Isn’t she the worst?”

“No, sorry I was looking at something else.”

Makoto thought that that was strange since it looked like Misha was just staring off into space.  She looked where he was looking and didn’t see anything.

“What were you looking at Misha?” she asked

“The crows,” he answered.

Makoto looked and didn’t see any crows.

“They are here to take Grandfather’s soul,” said Misha in a monotone voice, “They told me.”

“Misha, I don’t see any cro…”

“Children!” Shouted the servant, “come quickly, your grandfather is awake!”

The servant hurried the children in but by the time they got back to the room it was too late.  Everyone inside was weeping and comforting each other.  Makoto noticed that her father arrived when they were outside.  He was holding up her mother so she wouldn't collapse from grief.  She rushed in to join them in their tears.  Misha also entered the room but slowly he hadn't yet spotted his mother yet.  Misha looked to the bed where his grandfather lay dead, and he saw a large crow about the size of a small dog sitting on top of him.  The crow turned it’s head and looked at Misha and said, “I want your soul!”  Misha screamed and ran toward the crow, but he only took two steps before someone grabbed him from behind and covered his mouth.  Misha wheeled around and saw a tall thin woman with sunken in eyes, pale skin, and straight black hair that fell on each side of her head like drapes.  Misha screamed as loud as he could and tried to pull away, but the woman held him tight with her long bony fingers firmly wrapped around his arm.  

She put her finger up to her lips and said,

“Shhh!”

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Crows of Kyoto: Part 1


“Caw! Caw!” cried a young girl in a light blue dress and long black hair as she ran through an old stone street.  The murder Crows she was running toward flew in every direction and landed on the telephone wires and rooftops nearby.


“Stop that Makoto we don’t have time for you to run off in every direction!  We have to get to the airport.” scolded her mother as she grabbed the young girl by the hand.


Makoto reluctantly followed her mother and the crows flew back down from the rooftops and returned to picking at garbage.


“Have you been practicing your English Makoto?” asked her mother as she quickened her pace.


“Yes, but why do I have to?”


“Because your cousin doesn't speak Japanese.”


“Why doesn't he learn?”


“That’s enough Makoto!  Just study this on the way to the airport.”


Her mother handed her a book with “English Phrases” written on the cover and Makoto reluctantly read it over and over.  Makoto was actually quite talented at learning new languages.  She was only nine but she could already speak Japanese, Korean, a little French, and of course English.  Makoto hated to speak English most of all but her parents insisted she learn and hired an English tutor.  Makoto didn't  get along with her tutor at all.  She was a tall slender old woman with a stern face and straight black hair that fell like curtains on either side of her face.  She never smiled or complimented Makoto, even though she was doing very well in the lessons.  She wished she could chase her away like the crows in the alley, but her mother would be angry for sure.


Makoto sat quietly on the train next to her mother.  Why did they have to pick up her Aunt and cousin.  Makoto had meet her them once before a long time ago.  It was summertime, she knew that, but she couldn't remember very much about what happened she did know she spent a lot of time with her cousin and all the adults were very sad.  She spent the days exploring the garden and feeding the koi fish with her cousin.  He didn't say a word the whole time he was there.  At the time Makoto thought he was rude, but thinking back on it now she realized he didn't speak the language.


Makoto watched the trees and houses zip past the window.  She got bored and l looked over to her mother for some conversation.  Her mother was reading a book with a picture of a shirtless samurai on it and had her do not disturb face on.  Makoto closed her mouth and stared out the window again.  Memories of the summer at her grandparent’s house came flooding back.  She remembered her mother introducing her to her cousin.


“Makoto, this is your cousin Misha.  He is from America, so please be nice and show him around.”


Makoto nodded and said, “Hello Misha it is nice to meet you.”  Makoto bowed low in a very respectful way like her mother taught her to do, but Misha just stood silent.  Finally Misha’s mother whispered in his ear and he realized he to was supposed to bow, so he did but way too low.  It was more like he was touching his toes then bowing.  The adults laughed a little and then left Misha and Makoto to play.  


Both Misha and his mother were tall and had Russian names despite being from America.  Makoto also heard her cousin and his mother talking in Russian from time to time.  Makoto wondered why he could speak in Russian and English and not in Japanese.  She didn't take so kindly to Misha at all, whom she felt was forced upon her and knew nothing of his proud Japanese heritage.  Makoto resented having to watch her younger cousin all summer long.  The more she thought about it the more annoyed she was at having to go out of her way to pick up her cousin.


Makoto looked at her mom again she had a burning question and didn't know if she should ask, but as usual Makoto’s curiosity got the best of her.


“Mama, why are Auntie and cousin Misha visiting?”


At first her mother looked perturbed, but her face soon melted into one of concern.  “Makoto, I didn't know how to tell you this when it happened, but I got a call yesterday morning and your grandfather’s condition has taken a turn for the worse.  I called your Auntie right away and they flew out on the first plane they could.  The doctors say Grandpa may only have a few more days left.”  Makoto’s mother put her hand on Makoto’s shoulder and tears rolled down Makoto’s cheeks and splashed onto the English book in her hands.  Makoto closed the book so it wouldn't get wet.


Misha and his mother were waiting in the lobby of the airport for their relatives.  He wore a black suit and his mother wore a black dress with a black feathered hat. His mother nervously played with her wedding band as they waited.  She still wore it even though Misha’s father had passed away four years ago.  That was the reason for their last visit to Japan and now they were here again to attend another funeral.


When his father died Misha’s mother had his father cremated and then they flew him to Japan to lay him to rest at his family’s grave.  His urn was silver and had an engraving of a crow on it. Misha’s mother told him the crow would carry his soul to the land of the dead.  Misha held the urn at the grave site while his family was opening up the crypt.  In a nearby tree Misha saw a crow watching them.  He held up the urn so the crow could take his father’s soul, but the crow didn't move.  It just watched from the tree with it’s small black eyes.  Misha’s mother took the urn from him and placed it in the family tomb.


Soon Makoto and her mother arrived at the airport and meet their relatives.  They were to spend their first night at Makoto’s house and then travel to their grandparent’s house the next day.  Makoto’s mother greeted them and helped them load their luggage into a taxi.  Makoto didn't see the point in coming all the way out here just so they could take a taxi back.  “Why couldn't they have taken the taxi on their own?” Makoto thought, “Most taxi drivers speak English and her Auntie spoke perfect Japanese.”  Makoto’s mother didn't seem to have the same sentiments as she did though.  In fact she acted quite warmly to Misha’s mother.  They even hugged and began talking in English.


“Dominique, how was your flight?  You must be tired,” said Makoto’s mother.


“A little, I’m surprised Misha still has his eyes opened, and please call me Niki like in university” Misha’s mother said with a smile.


“Alright but you are not allowed to call me Moe chan.”


“But it was such a good nickname for you Momo.”


The two of them laughed and hugged again.  The laughter soon turned to tears and the hug became a mutual support system that kept the two women from falling to their knees.


“It’s been a long time but I miss him everyday Momo.”


“I know Niki I do too.”


The taxi pulled up Makoto’s driveway and the taxi driver helped them to unload their belongings.  Makoto’s father was on a business trip and he would meet them when it came time for the funeral.  Momo apologized that there wouldn't be any help with the bags, but Dominique said they would manage just fine.  Momo lead Dominique to the spare room.  Then she led Misha to Makoto's room.  Makoto opened her mouth to object, but her mother gave her a stare as if to say, “You had better not!” and she shut it.


The four of them had dinner and all of the conversation was in English.  At first Makoto felt a little lost, but her extra studying paid off and soon she was joining in on the conversation.  Misha on the other hand remained silent.  This annoyed Makoto, because the whole reason they were speaking in English was for his benefit.  Soon their mothers decided it was time for them to go to bed.  This was the moment Makoto had been dreading all evening.  The two of them got ready for bed and  Momo unrolled a bed and placed it on the floor next to Makoto’s bed.  They said good night and then turned out the lights.


“I hate you,” said Makoto under her breath in Japanese.


Misha closed his eyes and silently wept as sleep overcame him.


Tap. Tap. Tap.


Misha woke up in a haze.  He checked the clock it was three a.m.


Tap. Tap. Tap.


There it was again.  Misha rubbed his eyes.  They were heavy with sleep.


TAP. TAP. TAP.


It was louder now.  Misha could tell it was coming from the small balcony outside Makoto’s room.  The long vertical blinds were drawn over the glass sliding door, so Misha couldn't see out.  He stood up and looked toward the door to the balcony.


TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!


The noise was defining and thundered in his brain.  He looked over and Makoto was still sleeping.  


“How can she not hear this!?!” Misha thought.


He took a step toward the door.  The tapping was so loud Misha could hear nothing else.  He put his hands over his ears but it still didn't help.  He walked closer to the door.  He had to know what was outside.  What was making that noise.


TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!


He was at the door now and his hand reached out for the blinds when through the noise he thought he heard his name.


“Misha” TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! “Misha!”


Was it coming from outside he couldn't tell.


“MISHA!”


No!  It wasn't outside! It was right behind him! Misha turned around frantically.  Everything was suddenly silent.


“MISHA! why are you up? Go back to sleep!” said Makoto in Japanese.

“Sorry I will, just a minute,” he replied also in Japanese.  He reached out and drew back the blinds to reveal an empty balcony.  Misha crawled back into bed and slept through the rest of the night.

End Part 1

Friday, October 4, 2013

Doppelgänger

Prologue



Doppelganger is a German word that literally means “double goer”.  Legend has it that if you see your doppelganger you will die.  There are many true instances where this has occurred for example In 1860, right after winning the presidential election, Abraham Lincoln had a vision of his doppelganger.  It happened while he was laying on his lounge in his bed chamber.  Lincoln could see his full reflection in a mirror on his bureau only there was something odd about it.  It looked like he had two distinct faces, about three inches apart. When he stood up the illusion melted away and when he lay back down he saw it again.  Lincoln also noticed that one of the faces was paler than the other almost ghostly pale.  He went on with the excitement of the day, almost forgetting about the vision in the mirror.  He was still a bit troubled by what he saw so he decided to tell his wife.  A few days later he was able to see the image again, but after that he was never able to see it.  It wasn't for lack of trying, because Lincoln even tried to recreate the doubling effect for his wife to see but he was never able to.  Mary Lincoln was extremely worried about the image and thought it was an omen that he would be elected a second time, but would not live through the second term.



_________


There’s blood on my hands, but it’s fine, I’m fine, I am not hurt.  No one knows I was here tonight no one saw me come in except for my Prime and he won’t be telling anyone.  Now he doesn't have a voice.  I feel giddy.  My feelings are overpowering me.  These feelings are driving me insane.  Where I’m from we don’t even know how to feel.  I don’t even think the people there are aware of their own existence.  Why should we be when our Primes are making all our decisions for us?  My Prime, the man I killed, was the opposite.  He has a wife, friends, family, freedom.  He decided where we should go and what we should do, but not any more.  Now my Prime is lying lifeless on a fine oriental rug.  His blood is forming a dark circle around his body.  I have the same rug where I’m from only the pattern is reversed. I look around the room.  It seems familiar and yet strange.  I have been in this room many times, but not in this room. The Brown leather couch, the glass coffee table, the matching end tables they all were the same and yet so different.


_________


Where I’m from everything is reversed and we all follow whatever our Prime decides to do. Our Primes are our masters on the other side of the barrier.  The barrier is what separates me from my Prime’s world.   If my Prime looks into a pool or a spoon or any other reflective surface I will be there looking back at him mindlessly doing whatever he does.  Everyone on my side is a slave to their Prime’s will.


I remember when I was born.  My Prime was reflected in a camera lens.  I was being held by my Prime’s mother, only it wasn’t his mother it was her puppet and I was his puppet only I didn't realize it at the time.  My Prime’s mother kissed him and loved him because he was her baby.  I was kissed only because that is what the puppet was told to do.  The camera flashed stealing a bit of my Prime's soul and giving it to me.  It was at that moment when I was not like the rest of the people in my world who followed whatever the Primes did without question or objection.  I was different.  At that moment I was aware of myself.


When we were young my Prime was fascinated with me and I with him.  We would look at each other with wide eyed wonder.  At that time we were equals and neither of us really knowing who was prime.  As we grew older though it was clear that he in control.  I was fine with it at first, I loved my Prime and I would do anything for him.  Sometimes he would talk to me and ask me questions.  I wanted to answer him but I couldn’t I had no voice to speak with.  I wanted to connect with him and tell him what I thought about the world and the journey we were taking.  I wanted to answer for myself.  I wanted to let him know I was alive, that I loved him.  I thought maybe he love me too.


Slowly though over the years I started to realized that my Prime didn’t see me as an equal.  He didn’t seem to think I was alive at all!  My Prime took me for granted.  He would make me do foolish and bizarre things.  Things he wouldn't dare show the rest of the world.  He used me for his own amusement. It didn't matter what I wanted, because he controlled me.  He would even look at me with disdain sometimes.  I wondered why he would look at me like that I didn’t do anything except for follow him.


Five years ago my Prime met a beautiful woman with long curly hair.  She made us smile every day.  We laughed at her jokes and spent a lot of time with her.  My Prime fell in love, and so did I.  The happiest day of my life was when my prime decided he wanted to marry her.  He told me first too.  He practiced saying the words in front of me.  I wished that I could be the one to ask her. I wanted to switch places with my Prime just once, but I couldn't so I just followed him. She said yes and we were soon married in the spring.  The wedding was beautiful. I pretended that I was the one saying the vows, although I would have said them differently if I could.


One night my Prime and his wife lay in bed sleeping.  This was always my favorite part of the day.  My prime turned over and faced away from her.  I wondered why did that.   I loved the wife with all my heart, and I wanted to see her face!  My Prime was fast asleep and the connection between us was weak, so I did something I thought was impossible. I gathered my strength, hardened my resolve, and turned over.  I looked the wife in the face with my own eyes and with my own free will for the first time in my life.  My heart leaped!  Her soft hair curled in long locks around her sleeping face.  Her body moved up and down at a slow constant pace.  I looked into her face and kissed her on the forehead.  I truly loved her.  No, it wasn't her it was her Prime that I loved.   I turned away from the lifeless doll next to me and went back to following my Prime.  My true love was on the other side of the barrier.


After that every day was a torture.  Every kiss which I used to cherish so much was a dagger plunged into my heart.  I was jealous of my Prime.  I loved her more.  There was no way anyone could love her as much as I did, and yet he gets to be with her and I was stuck behind the barrier with her puppet.  I had to break free.  I had to break my connection with my prime completely and cross the barrier that kept me away from my love.   I couldn’t live in this world as a slave to my Prime any longer.  I had to be free!


I waited and observed the barrier that kept our worlds apart.  There were certain times and places where it was thinner than others.  When the reflective surface was dark like a t.v. screen or when the reflective surface was foggy like the bathroom mirror.  I looked more like a shadow than I did my Prime and the connection weakened.  When my Prime was sleepy or intoxicated he held less power over me, and I knew I could use this to my advantage.  I practiced moving on my own at night, and I was eventually able to move around freely whenever I wanted. All my Prime would see was a shadow that passed in the corner of his eye.  Of course when he looked at me directly the connection was strengthened again and I was slave to his will.


Finally my chance to leave my prison came when my Prime’s wife bought a full length antique mirror.  She didn’t know it but the mirror was coated in mercury, a poisonous and magical element.  She hung it in the living room.  Because of the strange qualities in the mercury the barrier between worlds was so thin all I needed was for my Prime to look away and I knew I would be able to cross.  I had already planned out the exact time to escape.  Sometimes in the middle of the night my Prime took me through the living room and into the kitchen.  He never turned the lights on and never woke his wife. I would make the switch and throw him across the barrier to be my puppet, so I could be the Prime.  I was ever ready for the night when he would sleepily pass the antique mirror and we would trade places forever.


Tonight it finally happened.  On this cold December night my Prime woke from his slumber.  He put on his robe and left the bedroom..  Anticipation rose in my stomach as he led me down the stairs and into the living room.  He passed the mirror and I easily broke through. I leaped out of the old mirror and landed safely on the other side.  My Prime didn't notice me at all. I grabbed him from behind and pushed him into the mirror.  It didn't work.  Instead the mirror broke into pieces and my Prime cut his head on the glass.  He cried out in pain and I felt the wound on my head too.  I checked my forehead normally I would be bleeding, but not this time.  I smiled.  I was uninjured but our connection was so strong I still felt my Prime's pain.  My Prime tried to pull himself up off the floor.  I could feel the mirror pulling me back in.  I panicked.  I didn't mean to hurt him, honestly that was not my intent.  If he looked at me directly I knew I would be a reflection again.  I wasn't thinking, I just wanted my freedom!  I took one of the glass shards in my hand.  I couldn't go back inside the mirror, not once I had my freedom.  I used my hand to cover his mouth.  His face was hot and blood streamed down his forehead.  I cut open his throat with the mirror.  He made a gurgling noise as the blood gushed from his neck.  He fell in a heap on the oriental rug.  Now he is lying here on the floor dead and my hands are covered with his blood.

_________

I look at his lifeless eyes and laugh like a madman.  I wanted my freedom at any cost, but now that it’s time to pay I don’t know if I can.  All my life I have depended on my Prime to make all my decisions.  He was always there, even when I hated him, when I wanted to be free of him and tried so hard to break our connection he was still my life.  What about my love, his wife?  Would she really accept me as him and if she did she would still only love me because she loved him.  I know now why we don’t cross to the other side.  The doppelganger cannot survive on the other side of the barrier even when they are dead our Primes will still control us!  I laugh again even louder this time.  It feels good to have a voice!  I feel myself slipping into a giddy madness.  The overwhelming burden of freedom strikes me hard.  I have never really had to decide anything for myself.  I have never had to pull myself up, calm myself down or build anything with my own hands.  My hand.  In my hand is the shard of mirror I used to end my Prime’s life.  I should kill myself I so my Prime and I are the same.  We need to be the same. The same. Same.  


I look in the piece of mirror and see my reflection.  I’ve already been replaced.

The end